The will of God is a beautiful place to be. It’s not easy to get there, at least it wasn’t for me, but once you’re there, it is the only place you will ever want to be.
My journey there
I have been to a lot of places both mentally and emotionally. I grew up in a Christian home where I felt safe and secure. I’ve lived in places that were not safe, but corrupted by darkness. There was also a time when I lived in places where I was trying to get back to that place of safety but the darkness continually crept in.
His freedom
As a juvenile the devil tried to tell me the word of God did not apply to me because I was not special to God, I was not important, I was a freak, no one liked me, and I had to win other’s affection for me. Those attacks hit me strongly in middle school and heightened in high school. Those lies became my truth. In turn, I started living life the way I wanted to, not always according to God’s standards, but standards that made me “happy”.
Fast forward to my twenties… there came a time I stopped attending church because “it wasn’t for me.” I stopped doing everything I knew was right. I became so enveloped in darkness, I turned a blind eye to my upbringing and turned to the world. I experienced darkness for a long time, it’s as if the darkness gets darker the longer that lifestyle is entertained. After experiencing darkness for so long, it was hard to imagine a life that was free from strongholds, chains, and bondage that weighed me down. I became so enveloped in a lifestyle that was not pleasing to Him, I had forgotten His goodness to me. I had forgotten what His peace, love, and joy felt like.
Your past mistakes do not define you
You’re on this earth because He wanted you to be. It doesn’t matter whether you went down a road you’re not proud of or you slightly misstepped – in God’s eyes, you are the son or daughter He created you to be. He is just waiting for you to turn your eyes toward Him. Once you do, you’ll never be the same.
His redemption… His love
His love is undeniable. His truth is the only truth you will ever need. He stands with His arms wide open, waiting for you to run to Him, just as any good father waits for their son or daughter to return home.
In those quiet moments, those moments of need or desperation, when you cry out to Him – He’s listening.
That’s what I did. I found myself in a place where I was all alone. I was in a spiritual desert and needed His touch. I remember night after night crying out to Him. My heart longed to experience His peace and love again. And He was right there, waiting for me.
As I stepped toward Him (His will for my life), His truth began to set me free. As I cried out to Him to save me, mindsets began to break, and things that once weighed me down were removed. I felt lighter with each breakthrough.
There was a lot of cleanup to do. I remember after the first few breakthroughs, I thought I was done… I’m glad I didn’t stop there. Over the course of 2 years God delivered me from so many mindsets, I’m not sure I could count them all. After a while, I stopped thinking I was done and started asking the Holy Spirit, “What’s next?”.
His love carried me through.
His will is the best place to be
Looking back at my life, I am so glad I chose Him. There was no person, drug, alcohol, or situation that filled the void in my life. That void was His to fill and He did just that.
I woke up this morning praising God for the life He has blessed me with. It’s not perfect, and it will never be “picture perfect.” But it’s the life I would choose time and again – the place He needs me to be.
It’s not easy at first, but you can do it. I’ve pushed through many obstacles, but only because He was there to help me. And if He was there for me, He will be there for you too.